Ambition & Inertia

Do you ever feel like you're treading water, barely keeping your head above the surface, while everyone around you is racing towards the finish line of some major triathlon?

I have an amazing family and group of close friends. I've been lucky enough to travel and participate in some one-of-a-kind experiences. I have a master's degree in a "hard" science. I've published in a major journal. I have more designations and certificates of completion than I know what do to with. I'm generally happy with my life. Yet, I never feel like I'm doing enough. 

All kinds of people from my past have returned home for the holidays in the last two weeks.  One friend travels to exotic countries and has the craziest experiences. Others completed their PhDs earlier this year. My little baby sister got married. All around me, my friends are buying houses, completing their families, climbing the ranks in their careers.  And it's making me panic. I completed my master's degree over 2 years ago. My last work designation, a year ago. I made plans to go to Europe and instead let my passport expire. No house. No husband. No kids. What in the world have I been doing lately?

Needless to say, I'm in a complete funk. I'm distracted and easily frustrated. Total overload to the point where I want nothing more than to crawl into my cave and hibernate until summer. My mind's going a million miles a minute. Go for an MBA? New designation? Classes in an unrelated field just for fun? (data mining, anyone?) Where to meet the guy? Or forget the guy and look into adopting? Time for a new pet - hedgehog or Italian Greyhound? Get back into belly dance? Pick a city and start looking to buy a house? Or just screw it all and take life as it comes at me? So much to think about...

Which meant this week's baking project had to be over the top. I needed something that required more concentration than usual in order to quiet my mind, if only for an hour or two. And then I found SprinkleBakes' Sparkling Champagne Cupcake recipe. Difficult enough to distract me and perfect for New Years Eve. It sounded so good, I didn't even attempt to make any changes to it! 

Sparkling Champagne Cupcakes

My pictures don't do this recipe justice. And I screwed up the frosting. But they taste amazing, and the next time I make them, I'll post some better pictures!

Ingredients - Champagne Cupcakes

1 stick butter, softened

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla (I used clear vanilla throughout this recipe so as not to discolor the batter or frosting)

1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup sour cream

1/2 cup champagne or sparkling wine (I used M. Lawrence "Fizz", a demi-sec sparkling wine from my favorite winery in Traverse City, MI.  I would have rather used their "Wet" wine because it's a bit sweeter, but it's impossible to find around here!)

Preparation - Champagne Cupcakes

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cream butter and sugar, 2-3 minutes, or until light and fluffy.

3. Add the eggs, one at a time, and beat after each addition.

4. Add vanilla and mix until combined.

5. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

6. In another bowl, whisk together the sour cream and sparkling wine.

7. Add flour and wine mixtures to the butter/sugar mixture alternately, beginning and finishing with the flour mixture. Mix until just combined after each addition.

8. Fill each cupcake tin with 1/4 cup of the batter.

9. Cook 17-22 minutes. (Mine took about 19 minutes.) Transfer to wire rack and let cool.  

10. Cut the center out of each cupcake in preparation for the filling. (I used the "small" attachment to my cupcake corer.) Trim the excess cupcake off the core, and save the top for covering the filling in the next step.

The texture of these cupcakes are amazing.
Almost more muffin-like than cupcake-like. And the flavor? To die for!

My mom gave me a cupcake corer for Christmas.  Best. Present. Ever.

Ingredients - Champagne Filling
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream, divided
1/2 cup champagne or sparkling wine
2 T cornstarch
5 T sugar
1 egg + 2 egg yolks
2 T unsalted butter
1 tsp vanilla

Preparation - Champagne Filling
1. In a small bowl, whisk the cornstarch with 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream.
2. In a small saucepan, bring the remaining heavy whipping cream, sugar, and sparkling wine to a boil. Remove from heat.
3. Beat the whole egg and 2 yolks into the cornstarch mixture.
4. Add 1/3 cup of the hot wine mixture to the cornstarch mixture.  Whisk constantly.
5. Place the remaining wine mixture back on the burner and bring to a boil.
6. Add the cornstarch mixture to the boiling wine mixture in a steady pour, and whisk continuously until mixture thickens. 
7. Remove from heat and beat in butter and vanilla.
8. Fill each cupcake with filling.(I filled a sandwich baggie with the filling and snipped the corner off since I ran out of pastry bags. Worked perfectly!)
9. Use the trimmed cupcake core tops you saved above to cover the filling.

Cored cupcakes filled with the champagne filling.

Filled cupcakes (with core tops replaced) all ready to be frosted!

Ingredients - Champagne Frosting

1 cup + 1 T Champagne or Sparkling Wine

2 sticks butter, softened

2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Preparation - Champagne Frosting

1. In a small saucepan, simmer 1 cup sparkling wine until reduced to 2 T. (This step took longer than I expected. Use a high heat temp and try for more of a "boil" than a "simmer"!)

2. Allow wine mixture to cool. (This is the step I completely forgot about. It made my frosting too runny and I had to add extra powdered sugar to thicken the frosting up.)

3. Cream butter and sugar together, 2-3 minutes, or until light and fluffy.

4. Add the cooled reduced wine plus 1 T of regular wine to butter mixture and mix well.

5. Frost and decorate your cupcakes!

Decorated cupcakes. The frosting is so sad looking! 

For decorating, I used a mixture of sugar pearls and pieces that I found at TJ Maxx.

This was my "practice" cupcake. (And by "practice", I mean that this is the one I took
bites out of as I was going to "make sure" the flavors were coming together right!)
 I cored out a deeper piece in my actual cupcakes to use up more of the filling.

My "practice" cupcake again.  This time with my chosen sparkling wine!

Unfortunately now I'm back to thinking about the future. Should I relax and learn to enjoy standing still? Or do I let my competitive side take over and start making some changes? At the very least, I think I need a pet. And some goals for next year. (Looks like the competitive side is winning....) Good thing I have some leftover wine and cupcakes to help me make these decisions!